Preparing the bed for winter...

Image from: http://www.seaspringseeds.co.uk/images/stories/raking%20soil.jpg

We plant our seeds in the soil and we nurture them with care and patience. We do this with humility and respect. From my own experience with gardening - just spending time in the garden with plants is so therapeutic and it also helps the plants grow. They live on the energy of the gardener who really participates in her creations in the garden.

I have a ritual when I'm watering plants - I consciously imbue the water with energy from my 'healing' hands - it helps the plants and me! I'm a natural gardener. I'm at home in a garden... I've been to Sydney and Berlin and on both occasions spent time in their gardens, rather than inside. In Berlin last summer, I spent a day on my own skiving from the conference in the Tiergarten - soaking up the summer sun, sitting on the river bank watching the water and hiding myself amongst the trees - peace, gentle, quiet, silence, opening my heart up and grounding again - and in Sydney, I spent a whole day in one small part of the Chinese Garden, sitting, breathing, stroking rocks and leaves. Just Be-ing. Bliss.

One of the finest Zen moments(!) that came to bless me was so simple was when I had an allotment in Caerphilly, South Wales. It was November, the harvest was in. I had my pumpkins, beans, potatoes etc all gathered in and I was putting the garden to bed.

I lost track of time as my eyes slowly adjusted to the dimming light, what was left of which was reflected off the hills all around me, like the sides of a crystal bowl. Time flowed on, the light dimmed and yet my perception was that there was no change in intensity of the light - time stood still as my internal perceptions and the external stimulation of my retinas by the reflected light came into balance.

My rake with the hazel handle, that I'd cared for with linseed oil on a rag - rubbing the oil in to the grain just like my Dad taught me and his Dad taught him. The feel of the living wood in my hands. I started gently raking the soil of the raised beds. Caressing them, over and over again with my rake, an extension of me. Loving, blessing the soil, separating out the larger stones from the smaller ones with the rake, a flick and a twist. Occasionally crouching down on my haunches to reach out to flick the soil with my hands or fingers instead, or digging my hand in further - penetrating in to find deeper stones, an organic kind of surgery, meticulous, thorough, patient, kind, respectful - I never wear gloves. I want to feel the soil on my skin and, as far as I'm concerned, dirt under the nails or ingrained in the skin of the fingers is a badge of honour.

There were so many old country people who I knew in my childhood who had faces and hands etched by the weather and the land - in that sense they became part of the land. Dirt under the nails - a badge of honour. But not for them, they just Were - themselves, they were the land and the land was them. A reciprocation of unstated (because it was not necessary) love and understanding.

As the sun set and dusk developed, I was breathing in time with my raking - swoosh, woosh, swish, wish,... change position ... shadows developing, moving, dancing, shadows....swoosh, woosh, swish, wish,... change position.

A Blackbird cries out, that flickering, fluttering startled cry, and I look up from my reverie - bed time for birds flying home to their nests. It's getting darker. I can no longer tell the difference between the end of the rake and the soil..where do I end? Do I end? Where does the rake begin and end? Where does the soil begin and end?

And there I am again, swoosh, whoosh, swish, swoosh... swish, wish - another Blackbird celebrates the end of the day... and I'm drawn further and further into the bed, into the soil... is it me moving the rake or the soil working through the rake to move me? I don't know, but what I do know is that I felt a sense of oneness with that dark Welsh soil. I'm drawn into the bed and I'm dreaming, dreaming of ... nothing but. ...

I Am,
The Bed - She Is my ground,
I am Being through Her
The Air - my breath
The Soil - my lover
The Rake - my hands
Caressing my lover,
Etching myself on her skin,
She opens to me,
I push a little more,
She beckons me in,
Inside her now,
Penetrating her as I move,
Flowing with ease,
In out, In out..
Swish, swoosh...
Her Presence building within me,
Flowing, flowering,
Releasing myself within her receptive depths,
Dreaming of the fertile future,
She thanks me,
And I'm grateful to have been a part of this love.

We'll be 'making hay',
Happily harvesting
When warm Father Sunshine comes back next Spring

But now, stillness and silence and lying still on the bed on my back looking up at the remaining flecks of colour in the watery, western sky. Until darkness comes. Silence. Peace. Stillness.

I leave the allotment and the raised bed behind, walking slowly, reverently home.,knowing that my work is done, for now at least. That my moments of Be-ing lost in the soil will remain in my mind and heart - winter memories to draw upon during the long dark days.....but, dreaming of Spring.

The View from Here: Killiney Hill

I'm sitting cross legged on a layer of brown leaves... soft they are, fulfilled and expanded by the winter dampness that pervades this wood. To my immediate right a slab of granite is exposed....caressed by green moss.  

I realise that I also sit on another huge granite rock who wears his leaves as a crown... a King in His Woods. Blue  tits jump around restlessly on the twigs of the trees above.  Their staccato song fills the cool damp air within which I have my Being.  I am truly alive here.  My bare feet Earthed in the leaves, my eyes scanning the stark bare branches above that are dappled by the in-streaming, cold January sun. 

To my left, a wise old Beech tree slumbers.  An old friend, dozing. She murmurs to me in her sleep..... dreaming this wood into existence. The wind tickles her branches and they move in free flowing patterns of evolving forms. The slender fractal twigs at the end of her reach, extending like antennae upwards towards the sky. Could it be that she is listening to the voice of the cosmos flooding in to her reverie? Is this the source of her dreams?

And down, down, way below, the inexorable sea at high tide alights on rocks... singing a song of serenity, of rhythm and flow and real power ...in trust and patience... the cold blue-grey winter sea. Enjoying the way her fingers, the waves, stroke the beach. Just as her song flies up from below and reaches my ears and the heart of the beach tree too. 

I'll meditate in this place for a while and on all of that, all of those spinning thoughts and intuitions, and then I will walk away bare-foot on the cold damp leaves lining the pathways and corridors of the wood like magic carpets. I'll be feeling refreshed like the beech tree after her sleep.

John Tavener: Prayer of The Heart - Bjork

One Who Sits Alone

There is one who sits alone,

Under the tree.

It looks like he stares into the distance,

Towards the horizon.

And indeed he does,

But he also stares within.

Too Much Noise

Too much noise
Empty noise
Try to be with you
All noise

People, kids, cars
Withdraw my mind

Peace of darkness
Stars flickering
Quiet wind whispering
A duet with the tide
Audible, but humanly unfathomable
A gentle peace
Natural

Your noise
With you
At last!

Lying back
Listening to the sweetest sound of
Nothing

But everything 

I wrote this in the late 1980s. Our house was often busy and there was a tension in the atmosphere there owing to my Dad's illness. There was often the noise of traffic outside too. I used to retreat into my bedroom for some peace This was probably one of my first attempts to meditating...trying to find some peace and quite within and actually achieving it (for once!).

The Shock of the New

How are you finding things at the moment? Are you feeling the intense energies around? It's like everything is being cranked up - really challenging me to go with the flow, but to stay centred.... it's bound to take time over the next while into 2012 and beyond to integrate it all.  

I'm finding there are more and more synchronicities and opportunities presenting themselves without any effort on my part - people turning up in the right places at the right time. 

Along with the usual flickering violet flame that pulses and swirls and moves at my third eye, I also seem to be permanently bathed in a white light from above (like moon light) whenever I close my eyes and in the dark I can see it. It's really lovely - I can feel crown and third eye chakras opening - popping and creaking like a sailing ship in a storm. Quite regularly I smile as I seem to know exactly what people are going to say next. 

Tender spots now all down my right side....I guess there's a lot of processing going on...

I'm often finding myself in a semi-dream state even when I'm awake. There's kind of a feeling of being in suspended animation, like time itself is somehow completely different...have you noticed it? I find I lose time and I gain time. It's really surreal.... one day I had a distinct feeling that I was on a new timeline or path......it was disconcerting, but somehow reassuring at the same time...hard to put into words. My heart is so wide open it hurts! 

We're blessed to be here at this time to be a part of all this! :)

 

 

Kundalini Yoga

I am loving getting up early to practice Kundalini yoga http://www.kundaliniyoga.org/....my heart can't wait to get out of bed, to put my hands together and to call upon Universal consciousness and Divine Wisdom, to feel the energy flowing through me, to meditate and to feel the way my life is developing! As I write this, I feel the energy flowing through me.....in my heart, but also throughout my body....a complete feeling of loving bliss....perfect!  

Eric Whitacre: Virtual choir

185 voices from 12 countries - an example of the rise in consciousness occurring here and now on Earth! What breathtaking beauty we can achieve when we all pull together.....


Latin Translation ©2001 by Charles Anthony Silvestri

(English poem by Edward Esch)


LUX,                                         Light,

CALIDA GRAVISQUE                warm and heavy

PURA VELUT AURUM                as pure gold,

ET CANUNT ANGELI                 and the angels sing softly

MOLLITER MODO NATUM.       to the newborn babe. 

Seeing with the Heart

There is a way of "seeing" - from the heart, 
Through feeling. 

When the heart opens, it is easier to understand this. 

It is something that can't be understood from the mind - only from the heart...

But of course, 

It is all about balance - allowing the energy to flow freely Through all of the chakras...

The higher ones and the lower ones,

The heart is the centre, 

The balance point, 

The fulcrum, 

So we can find that balance. 

It's great to go into the silence, 
To recognise the feelings in the heart. 

Those feeling are full of bliss and joy,
The closest to experiencing Heaven on Earth.

I loved what she said:

"So I am now trying to embrace my feelings and sense where in the body I sense them, 

And be thankful for the calm, loving, fearless feelings I have (almost in an affirmation-kind of way)"

I know what she meant - "fearless" - love that!
By trying to identify the feelings,

In analyzing them, 

They can be chased away...they dissipate, 

Those feelings cannot be grasped....

It seems that it is only necessary to recognise the feelings, 

Embrace them, 

Accept them,

And bless them...

That is all...

That's what to aim for...
By embracing the feelings in Your consciousness, 

You honour their presence and the  energy keeps flowing.

 

A Soul Discovers Her Still Centre

You have travelled far from the Source my child,
You have journeyed through aeons to the edge,
Along the way, You danced as pure energy,
An eternal light within the shifting sands of space and time.

You agreed to forget Your true nature,

You agreed to forget Your true origin,
You agreed to hide Your Beauty within.

The challenge was to remember….

And now You have moved to the still point.

To Your centre where You can begin Your journey home,
Where silence reigns supreme,
You are gently embraced by a transparent cloak of clarity,
You sit within a motionless sea of serenity
Your vision is alive,
Your vision is true.

You have found Yourself again by journeying inwards,

To where Your true self dwells,
To where Your greatest treasures reside,
They accumulated within You as You travelled,
Every single experience,
- The good and the bad -
Is kept there,
Though no judgement is attached to any of them.

They were simply experiences.

And now that You have discovered these treasures,
You have moved beyond them,
Into the unfathomable expanse of Beauty,
The Beauty within You,
A new You,
And You have found peace,
You have found joy,
You have found gentleness,
You have found love.

You have peeled away all the layers of Your amnesia,

Only the real, pure, glorious, wonderful You remains.

And You are not alone,

Choirs of Angels are now singing in exultation.

They know.

Your inner Angel has been revealed to the Universe.

 Still Centre by Courtney Davis
Image used with the written permission of Courtney Davis
http://courtneydavisart.com

Be Still

Be Still,

Enter the Silence,

Let love flow through your body.....

....Breathe....

....Be alive....

Take a step back from the crowd,

Move to the edge,

Move into stillness.

It will speak to you,

As you feel your spirit rise in waves,

Up and down your spine as you breathe...

In and out.....

In and out.....

Up and down.....

All around.

The waves spread,

Outward,

Inward.....

In many dimensions at once,

As the energy flows through your cells,

Rising within you,

Into your lungs,

Into your heart,

Filling with energy,

Filling with light.

And the healing begins,

There is a lightness of being,

Being alive within you again.

The Boy Who Talked to a Seagull

The Boy was unusual. He had always thought this, but he was only just beginning to figure out the hows and whys of it. He had always been sensitive to things. He always seemed to see and feel more than other boys. Even now, as he stared out to sea across the great sweep of the Bay, he felt that he had the answers to things that most boys didn't even have questions for.

For example, this rock he was currently perched on - several million years old probably, a piece of solid granite. The rock had moved little, if at all, in the last several hundred thousand years. Maybe, the sea had nudged it slightly in a storm. Maybe, it had been worn away a bit. After all, some of the pebbles on this beach were undoubtedly its children - bits of it that had gone off to explore for themselves.

And yet, the boy sensed the life in this rock. Yes, it definitely felt alive to him - vibrant, teeming with swirling thoughts and observations and memories from millennia gone by. But, the rock itself continued sitting there, placidly, still, but somehow silently observing - all seeing and all knowing.

The boy began to feel that this rock knew pretty much everything there was to know about the moods of the sea. It had seen stormy nights, frozen seas, warm seas, waves crashing in, waves lapping out, full moons, new moons, and clear nights when bright stars shone down like you wouldn't believe.

The boy sensed that through its stillness, the rock knew everything about this beach and the sea that today lapped in gently around the boy's feet. But, much more than that - the rock really did know everything. It seemed to have all the secrets of the universe within it. A universe within a rock?

And the boy, by sitting on the rock, felt that he too could receive the answers to all the things that he wanted to know. Was the universe also within him? Yes, if the rock could obtain the answers, so could he. All he had to do was sit still, be silent and focus on himself, just like the rock. And so he knew that sooner or later he would indeed receive all the answers. Patience then was what was required.. ... and time.

So, the boy came back to the beach over many years as he grew older. He visited the rock as often as he could. He had no expectations about anything, he just enjoyed being alone with the rock. He continued to sit and listen to the sea and feel the rock beneath him and watch the waves lap at his feet.

Then, one day as he sat on the rock and stared out to sea, he began to relax, but at the same time, he felt heavier and heavier. He closed his eyes.

But, hang on, did he now feel heavy or light? There was a part of him that felt heavy - yes definitely, so, so heavy ... .his breathing slowed, the presence of the cool air itself surrounding him seemed to be his means of breathing.

He breathed out, he breathed in - shallower and shallower until his breath virtually stopped. He felt the weight of his body on the rock ... .or was it in the rock? Yes, he felt he was merging with the rock - going inside the rock, but at the same time another part of him continued to feel lighter and lighter. His arms tingled and then it seemed that his hands were floating upwards. Then this feeling spread ... he was both entering deeper into the rock and floating upwards, both above himself and below himself at the same time.

"How could this be?", he thought for a fleeting moment.

His eyes opened slightly and he caught a glimpse of the glowing white sea; not the grey, green sea he had seen earlier. But, the moment passed even before it was complete, and he relaxed again. His eyelids gently closed and his eyes themselves began to focus on a flickering white light that began to appear in front of him ... it seemed to shine within him, like moonlight. But how could he see this light? His eyes were closed! But the light became brighter and brighter. It swirled and pulsated and moved around in front of him, now bright white, now a deep bright violet, now pure gold.

He felt like he was looking into another world - a world within himself? Yes, that was it, he was inside his own inner world. Exploring the universe within himself.

Then ... .Bang! Flash! Lightening bolt! Wallop! A voice!

"Hello boy!"

The boy jumped up, startled. Simultaneously, he was catapulted up out of the rock and back into his body and from above the part of him that was floating also entered his body again. He straightened and looked around him - no one there!

"Oh well, I'm imagining things", he thought.

But, then again ...

"It's me!"

"It's who? What is going on? Voices in my head?" He said out loud.

Who or what was he talking to? Was it the rock talking to him? No - impossible. But then he saw a seagull next to him, simply looking up at him serenely.

Then, the voice again, "It's me! Sorry to startle you."

"It's who?"

"Me ... the seagull! I am Natalie Seagull.", came the reply.

He jumped high in the air and landed on the beach and turned around.

"Natalie Seagull? Seagulls don't speak!"

"How do you know that? Ever spoken to a seagull before?"

"No!", said the boy - incredulously.

"Then how do you know that seagulls don't speak?", said Natalie Seagull.

"Well, I don't ... um, uh ... are you really talking to me?", said the boy.

"What do you think?"

"Well, after what's just happened, I wouldn't be surprised if I am talking to a seagull!

"Is there something you want to tell me?" said the boy.

"Yes. I have a message for you."

"So, what is it?", said the boy.

"Well, you've always known that you are here for a reason. So, what you do now is you rest and you wait"

"For how long do I ....um, uh rest and.....uh...wait?", he replied.

"For as long as it takes".

"As long as it takes? How will I know what to do ... .when the time comes?"

"It is more a case of what you will 'be', what you will 'become'. Then you will know what to do. In any case, it will be made known to you ... .look out for the signs. Not only seagulls speak".

"But what is my role in ... ..uh ... ..whatever it is?"

"You will be required to re-assure the people. Are you a leader? Can you do that?"

"Yes, I think I can. I can, but I'm a bit scared now".

"Don't be afraid - focus on love and the truth. These will set you free and guide you to be the best you can be, to do the best you can do and to bring out the best in others. You are a creator, as is everyone. You don't understand the power of your own thoughts to create your reality. So, think positively and bring about the reality you want. No one is stuck in a hopeless situation created by distant forces. If you want change in your world, change your thoughts, change those external forces for the better, for those seemingly external forces, those immovable objects and events that are apparently out of control are the physical manifestation of your thoughts. They are your thoughts crystallised from the mind of God. For the entire universe is the mind of God and you are an essential part of that mind! Create a better reality! Even if only a few boys and girls like you begin to understand this, the world will be a much better place."

"But how long will it take? It seems like an awfully difficult task to take on -- to change an entire planet for the better."

"The time is now approaching fast. More and more boys and girls like you are waking up and finding their higher purpose."

"Thank-you! It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in this".

"You are never alone my child - you know that. You are not alone. Never. Now, go and begin the first day of your new life as a teacher, as a messenger. Prepare yourself. Remember that you are a master. You will find the truth everywhere you look for it. By your presence alone, you will guide others towards the truth and they will find it because of you. You are welcome to talk to me any time you like, for I am here to offer advice and to guide you when you desire guidance. But, it is up to you whether you accept this mission or not -- you have free will."

Somehow, the boy understood all of this. He had been half expecting it ... .for a long time.

And with that, Natalie Seagull launched herself into the air, flapping her powerful wings as she rose up above the beach and then, catching a thermal, gracefully glided out to sea. She looked back at the boy, nodded her head slightly, extended her wings, swooped low over the white topped waves, then headed up into the sky, soaring ever higher and higher.

The boy followed her with his eyes as she became smaller -- until she became just a luminescence speck of bright white light, making its inexorable progress out to sea and up into the sky.

The boy was transfixed. A warm expansive glow appeared to swell up in his chest. He had never felt such joy, such love, such peace before.

Natalie Seagull turned her head and looked back after a little while. He sensed her smiling back at him. Her face was quite the kindest he had ever seen. And at that moment, she became a brilliant, perfect white, radiant star. Rays of light burst outwards from her body in all directions as she soared upwards. On and on, higher and higher, whiter and whiter her body became, until, in an explosion of pure energy, she literally disappeared from view.

The boy looked up to the sky and raised his arms up in a gesture of thanks, as he looked towards the spot where the seagull had disappeared into eternity.

And then he lowered his gaze and looked out to sea. Everything was different. He saw everything differently.

He saw how the waves were talking to him. He saw how the wind that blew his hair was also telling him things. He saw the sun as a pure bright teacher, a perfect reflection of the perfect bright light within him - the very light of his spirit. He saw the ever-changing clouds as a metaphor for the ever-evolving nature of the human soul. Even the pebbles at his feet were infusing him with wisdom. Everywhere he sensed knowledge and wisdom, understanding, acceptance and truth. Everywhere he looked he saw it, but he knew that the greatest source of all these things was within himself. Within his own soul would he find his greatest strength, to become his true self. For he was the universe and the universe was within him. He knew he would now be free to do anything he wanted. He had a job to do. He was a messenger, a teacher, a guide and a healer.

He walked across to the rock where had been sitting when he had met Natalie Seagull. He put his hand across his heart, closed his eyes and said a few words quietly, thanking her for the experience he had just had, for strengthening his own soul. He opened his eyes again, stretched out his arm and waved his hand gently over the rock and blessed that too.

The Boy thought of Natalie Seagull and smiled, turned around and looked out to sea one last time. He then left the rock and the beach and walked carefully, purposefully, like the master he would eventually become, into his new life.

And these stories are about how Natalie Seagull taught the boy and how one day he became a Master of his Life!

An earlier version of this story, in which the boy talked to a rock, appered in Wordlegs Issue No. 2 Summer 2010: http://www.wordlegs.com/magazine/viewitem.php?id=67

 

Silence

Too much noise, 
Empty noise, 
Try to be with you'
 All noise.

People,
Kids,
Cars.

Withdraw my mind, 
Peace of darkness, 
Stars flickering, 
Quiet wind whispering, 
A duet with the tide, 
Audible,
But humanly unfathomable.
 
A gentle peace, 
Natural, 
Your noise, 
With you, 
At last!

Lying back,
Listening to the sweetest sound of, 
Nothing,
But everything.