War Memories I and II

Some dark stuff from a while ago...written sometime 1987-1990

I. DEAD COMRADES
        

Black bodies bubble,

Silently charred,

In death's dark doorways.
        

Drowning.

The bell tolls.
        

Obsoletion.
        

Spasms of facial contortion,

Through which they no longer smile.

Under fire,

Under siege.
        

Screams,

Shattered minds,

All manner of broken dreams.
        

Unspun,

In destiny's web.
        

Undone,

In time.
        

Made to die.
        

Congealed,

Without hope,

Unchanged by molding hands,

Unsurpassed in illness,
Undreamt.

        

Picture a thread through a needle,

The needle in your life,

Poking you,

Mocking your heart,

Killing you.
        

It sees beyond the facade,

Through which you try to smile.

       

II. POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

        

The demons in the dream scream,

Flickering as flames in a grate,

Whirling flitting incandescence,

Rising upwards,

Born upwards,

In an orange tinted half light,

Floating upwards,

Born upwards,

Spiralling,

Spinning,

Taunting you they float,

Haunting,

Grinning.

A bed in the middle of a floor,

A room with no walls,

Windows with cracked pains,

Shattered shards cut you,

Pierce your soul,

Your spirit hidden from you,

You lie alone,

Your head in your hands,

Nail biting,

Perpetual grimness.

 And all there is,

A vision,

Through mists and rain,

Of words swirling,

Of poetry peeping through keyholes,

When you're sleeping,

Of delightful escapism and happy moments,

They taunt you,

And are gone,

Even before hands can grasp them.
        

Pin your thoughts to the ground,

Hang your head alone,

There's no speaking when you drown.


A dark poem about war and its consequences on the human spirit. It was written in early 1991 around the time of the Iraq War... I found the report of the bombing of the road to Bazra particularly harrowing.



 

                  

Your Face, Your Smile

Here is a podcast of me reading this poem




Staring into the dark pools,
Of your blue eyes.

Pearls of pain were falling,
Tears of a terrible time,
Etched in the ice of your memories.

They froze upon your cheeks and glistened,
Glowed with the fragrance of the forgotten times,
We shared before the end.

And now,
I see your face,
In the depths of the roaring tide,
Staring up at me,
From beneath the waves in which you died.

For a while, I thought I saw you smile,
Through the mist,
Across the miles,
I'm sure I saw you smile.

And now, I see your face,
Shimmering in the depths,
Of this river,
This void.

You waver like summer evening haze.
Alive with wonder in my tomb,
I smile down to you,
So deep.

I see the sky in your eyes,
I feel the water wrapping me up,
Engulfing, enfolding, caressing you,
With thoughts of real wisdom,
Of life.

I begin to learn what it all means,
But when I touch the silver surface,
You flee,
And your smile fades,
In a wondrous haze,
Across the surface of the water.

*A version of this poem was published in 2001 by The International Library of Poetry in the compilation "The Path into the Light", p144. Watermark Press, MD, USA. 


This poem was written around 1990 following a walk on the Somerset levels in winter when the levels were flooded - hence the watery theme. It is a poem about the loss of someone I loved and memories of happier times. I guess it is also about the search for answers and the difficulties of obtaining such answers. When they come they are transient and can't be grasped.

           

Within Me

The ocean told me so,

One day it said to me,

"Can't you see with your eyes,

What I am?

Can't you fathom the secrets,

Hidden deep within me?

Don't you know why?

Everything is here,

I am everything,

Within me you will find,

The truth of your existence,

Within me you will find happiness,

Within me you will find yourself!"

Full Moon, Killiney Beach Dublin,

Ireland, January 30, 2010.

The Seagull 

This is one of the first poems I wrote in the mid 1980s on my experience of an awakening of consciousness brought on by becoming immersed in the 'mind' of the sea...but is the sea outside me or within me?

Silence

Too much noise, 
Empty noise, 
Try to be with you'
 All noise.

People,
Kids,
Cars.

Withdraw my mind, 
Peace of darkness, 
Stars flickering, 
Quiet wind whispering, 
A duet with the tide, 
Audible,
But humanly unfathomable.
 
A gentle peace, 
Natural, 
Your noise, 
With you, 
At last!

Lying back,
Listening to the sweetest sound of, 
Nothing,
But everything.

Alone on a Hill Top

All alone on a hill top,

Somewhere under a billion stars,

Trying to comprehend,

What does it all mean?

           

Feeling so insecure,
Like two of me here,

Arguing at my interpretations,

Of this mystery called existence.

       

A yellow moon rises slowly,

From behind flickering clouds,

Purple,

They are flecked with a red tinge,

Moved slowly by the wind,

The hint of the light in this darkness,

A hint of the truth in their lies.

 Another night poem around 1990. I would go to my favourite hill overlooking the moors - trying to reconcile my insignificance and yet my importance in the Universe. And why there seemed to be so many people living a lie about what is important in life and trying to convince me to buy into their way of seeing things.

The Dreamer by the Sea

Here is a podcast of me reading this poem:

They don't know where I go,

So quiet in the dead of night

The wind stings like fire,

Along with the rain,

Splashing,

Punching me,

With its pins of pain.
   

All the while,

Crush the ground,

Push it down,

Laughing inside at what I've lost,

Outside myself,

Outside belief.

Drift!

Drift ever on,

To nowhere.

No!

To the beach,

To see the dreamer by the sea,

To ponder on what he'll tell me.
   

The dreamer by the sea.

They all say he's mad,

Like me,

Inside me,

The dreamer by the sea,

Lives in a cave,

When he can,

Or else he sits on the rocks,

Until the tide arrives.

Sparks fly from his eyes,

Like stars they glow.
   

He listens to the voices of the pebbles,

How they have endured the beating of time.
He talks with the waves,

And tells me,

About the way things were,

When he was young.

Challenges, asks, knows.
   

The dreamer by the sea.
   

And when I arrive,

He asks me "Why"?

But I can't say,

And he says he knows,

Then shows me how to dream,

How to be me,

On the inside,

How to believe.
   

The dreamer by the sea,

Caresses the night,

With talons of ice,
       

Bright is his light,

Spreads its wings,

Flies into the distance,

Through the deepening blackness,

Warning ships with thoughts,

Flecking the cliffs,

Giving them transparence,
Until they become real,

To me.
       

How ideas I had were never known,

By me,
Inside,

Help me believe.
   

But he knows,

Always knew,

Been squatting on his perch for years,

Millennia I'd say,

Digging up ground,

Making no sound,

Changing shape in the dark,

And hiding by day.
   

The dreamer by the sea.
   

Tortures himself while watching birds die,

Tears himself to shreds and cries.
   

But I sit and watch,

And he tells me all this,

Until I walk back to my bed,

To what is deemed to be real.

Until I walk back to me,
To what I believe.
   

The dreamer by the sea.
   

He says "Goodbye"!

And laughs again,

From the cliff tops,

From the rocks,

In the sea I hear the shuffling of his feet,

In the wind I hear the whispering of his profundity.

All around,

Mixed with the mist,

Swirling in the spray,

He talks to me.
   

Everywhere I watch and feel,

How real it is to me,

How real is he,

And I realise,

I believe in the truth of,

The dreamer by the sea.


This poem was written in the late 1980s. It is again about the search for wisdom in nature and the blurring of the divide between dreams and the waking world. Where is reality? Inside or outside? The search for truth outside always leads to the recognition that truth and reality are inside and depend on the state of ones own consciousness..awake or asleep. 

The Seagull's Prophecy

People of Earth, behold and listen. A new phase of contact has begun. You are at a crucial stage of your evolution. You are entering a new era, which will ultimately enable you to fly to the stars and beyond in the years to come. Generations of Earth humans will be fulfilling their destinies in the cosmos. This is where your future lies.

You are at the ultimate crossroads. A branching of the paths. You are entering a new space-time continuum. Which way do you want to go? Which way will you decide to go? For you have the free will to decide. The next few years will bring great changes to humanity. I, along with my brother and sister seagulls, who have been living amongst you as well as those of us who fly overhead, sometimes seen, but usually wearing cloaks of invisibility, have been working for many years on raising your consciousness. We are the light travelers from afar. Well, our work is finally beginning to pay off and, dare we say it, we are beginning to believe that there may be a time in the not so distant future when our work will be complete. People are already beginning to wake up and have small inklings of the truth and the purpose of their existence.

You, the messengers, who are seeking us out, seeing us and talking to us, are being educated to have various roles in the process of awakening and truth telling. You will also become sculptors of light. You have a lot more to learn and you are only beginning to receive the first clues about this reality, but it is the truth. We seagulls will continue to provide you with the information you require to go about your work as and when you need it.

From the lofty heights above the Earth, where we soar on the winds within, above and beyond the clouds, we can see great changes coming soon. The Earth is evolving and powerful energies are being released across the planet. Along with the earthquakes, tsunamis and extreme weather events, you have an unprecedented opportunity to use these energies positively, for yourself and the good of humanity.  Notice how things are changing. This is just the beginning. The mass of humanity will turn away and try to ignore all of this - they simply cannot believe it to be true. Others will look in awe and wonder at what is happening, but will not understand. The dark forces will deceive many, as they have done throughout human history on Earth.  But do not listen, open your eyes and your minds and realise the truth! This is why they have kept you enslaved. Because they know that once you understand the power of the truth, the abilities you all possess inside, the darkness they produce will perish in its presence.

But, although the negative forces are still at work here, there are also brave men and women on Earth like you. They value their glorious planet, all of its life and beauty. They value love and truth and the future of their children and their children’s children.

Great and strange events will be seen in the skies above Earth. You will see more of us seagulls, sometimes alone, sometimes in great flocks way above you and sometimes close enough that you think you might be able to touch us. Sometimes, we may even land on your shores and mountains - not always near the sea. Sometimes, you may even see us above your cities. And that is not all. There will be increasing numbers of strange shapes in the skies and patterns on the ground that you have never seen before. Many will try and convince you that these events are not happening and that we are not seagulls, but some other unspecified, unrecognised, undiscovered kind of bird; that we are figments of your imagination. Such people want you to continue sleepwalking into oblivion, so that you don't realise that you can continue to evolve. But everything you see is a message for all of humanity to heed. Whether you do or not is your choice.

Many will turn away and not believe the reality of what they will witness in the heavens and on Earth and the world governments will be aiding in that deception, though not all. There are many good people in positions of power who walk in the light and do their best. This will be the final battle between the best and the worst on Earth and in the heavens that has been in the waiting for such a long time.

But, know this, all that is good - love, truth, wisdom and light - will prevail.

When this is all over, and who knows how long it will take, the Earth will be a very different place, environmentally, politically, economically, scientifically and spiritually. New ways of being, understanding and doing will have begun to be forged within individuals as well as throughout human society as a whole. People will finally begin to see themselves primarily as citizens of the Earth, not as subjects or citizens of individual countries. A global community of the people will emerge and wisdom along with rationality and knowledge will begin to prevail, so that everything is managed with everyone’s best interests in mind, not just those of the wealthy and the powerful. The old dogmas will begin to fade away.

You don’t have to let your leaders dictate to you anymore - mostly, they are behind the times, leftovers of a bygone era. They no longer have power over you. It is you the people who wield the power now and they are beginning to realise this.  The internet means that real news can be propagated throughout the world, without censoring by governments. Every civilization in the Universe reaches this stage sooner or later. This is the point at which amazing things begin to happen. Actually, the first step to becoming citizens of the cosmos. We seagulls will continue to be here to help you in your evolution.

And the power lies in you, each one of you, to achieve this. The power of the spirit is infinite. Find your spirit and it will set you free and provide you with all the power and truth and meaning you have been missing in your lives. Spirit is energy, spirit is matter, spirit is creation and renewal, spirit is pure power and spirit is life. True life. Each one of you holds a small piece of the power of creation within you. A fragment of this Universe. It is this power we seagulls have been telling you about for years now and that you messengers are developing and using. You are all warriors of the light and darkness cannot survive in the light.

The dark forces will not prevail even though they will continue to try to control you. They will be unable to enter the new space-time continuum in which you are beginning to traverse. Rest assured that the light will shine. There is no need to be afraid.

But, all these things must come to pass for the great creator to understand better the essence of itself. So, do not be afraid. Walk in the light of love and truth. For these times have been written in the stars for millennia.

These words have been given to you, so that you will all have the opportunity to understand yourselves and your place in the Universe. Spread them as widely as possible, so that those who are open to the truth can hear these words, listen and understand.